Download e-book for kindle: Dear Girls Above Me: Inspired by a True Story by Charlie McDowell

By Charlie McDowell

In response to the wildly renowned Twitter feed expensive women Above Me, a roman à clef approximately how pondering like a few ladies became one unmarried man right into a higher man.

When Charlie McDowell all started sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors—two impossibly ditzy lady roommates of their mid-twenties—on Twitter, his feed quick went viral. His fans elevated and he acquired the eye of all people from celebrities to construction studios to significant media shops reminiscent of Time and Glamour. Now expensive ladies breaks out of the 140-character restrict as Charlie imagines what may take place if he placed the knowledge of the ladies to the try.

After being unceremoniously dumped via the woman he used to be convinced used to be “the one,” Charlie discovered his neighbors’ conversations weren't basically fun, but additionally provided him entry to a totally uncensored woman’s standpoint at the international. From the significance of successfully Facebook-stalking power girlfriends and easily pulling off pastel, to studying whilst within the early phases of courting is just too presumptuous to carry a condom and the way to show nutrients poisoning right into a weight loss program virtue, the ladies get Charlie into hassle, yet additionally they get him out of it—without ever having a clue in their effect on him.

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Extra resources for Dear Girls Above Me: Inspired by a True Story

Sample text

If he didn’t know what weather temperature to prepare for, how’s he going to know what kind of a fight to prepare for? A fighter like this has no vision. If you don’t have good vision, you can’t visualize an incoming punch or kick ahead of time and be ready to defend against it. Before you get into any fight, you should instantly think of at least 14 moves you can hurt your opponent with, all of your opponents’ corresponding reactions, as well as 10 offensive moves your opponent might use. In this particular fight, you have to multiply all of that by 4.

It keeps me loose. MAKE SURE THE TAIL OF THE WHITEFISH IS POINTING UP. THAT MEANS IT’S FRESH. IF IT’S POINTING DOWN, DON’T EAT IT. THIS LOW-CARB BREAKFAST SANDWICH IS NOW COMPLETE. You can now enjoy this delicious breakfast sandwich that will make you a smarter and more powerful underwater fighter, all while keeping your carb intake minimal. And it will reboot the hydraulics of your blood system. I know a lot about eating. That’s why over 40 malls in America have food courts named after me. As well as 2 in Canada and 3 in Rhode Island.

I listened and decided it was indeed just the unarmed pizza delivery guy. So I open the door. As a master of the martial arts, you should be able to hear things as well as you can see them. Your eyes and ears should work identically. I’M ABOUT TO PAY HIM. I KEEP MY ATTACK OPTIONS OPEN. MY HEAD IS UPRIGHT, OBSERVING ALL POSSIBLE ANGLES. My right hand is free. My left hand is holding the money low, but I can still use it to strike him if necessary. Meanwhile, both his hands are occupied, and he’s bent over looking down at the money.

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